The JoiLotus Garden: The BreakUp Call

The first of three in a short read series written for young adult readers, The BreakUp Call: Learn To Be Your Own Bae seeks to encourage self-love and self-awareness in navigating the twists and turns in matters of the heart.

Dedicated to my daughter, Katrina Alexis.

Introduction

I am a huge Nina Simone fan.

My admiration is not just about her music, but the way she stood in her power as a woman without apology. She always spoke outright in strength and truth.

In her song, You've Got To Learn, she admonishes, "you have to know how to get up from the table when love is no longer being served."

The Cinderella "happily ever after" mantra has been packaged and sold over the centuries by way of art, poetry, music, and film.

Recent technological advances have furthered its reach, morphing relationships with attempts at fitting them into the modern social media phenomena, online dating, text and direct messaging, against the backdrop frenzy of television reality shows.

As a result, young women, especially, find themselves in a whirlwind of fantasy web weaving standing alone holding a box with a glass slipper inside waiting for a handsome prince to deliver its match; a perfect pair, a perfect fit, right?

Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. And some glass slipper encounters are poor fits or cases of mistaken identity.

And that's okay.

The key to emotional stability is to develop and maintain enough self awareness to recognize the reality of the relationship type you are involved in; a for now, a forever, or a for never love experience.

The BreakUp Call was written as an empowered self-love reminder to support you in getting there.

Love as a feeling is a many splendored thing, however, as a decision, it can be both humbling and grounding.

Each involvement, no matter the turn it takes is a golden opportunity for learning more about yourself, the type of love you wish to welcome, and the kind of love you are willing to give.

Every experience can serve as an exercise that teaches you to balance your vulnerability with your common sense. I have learned over time that getting to know myself helps me learn to master my emotions and make better choices.

The truth is always true and a half truth is always a whole lie; even when we resist the acceptance of it.

Relationships, though never a perfect journey, should not be stress-filled and all-consuming, but should instead breathe life and peace into your existence. The selection process is where we usually miss the mark and set ourselves on the path to breaking our own hearts.

Mom won't be able to save you from the heartache of relationship miscalculations.

I wish I could.

I can, however, offer gentle guidance in hopes of keeping you heart healthy in the relationship forest and encourage you to never give up on the beauty that a real love experience can add to your life.

Make your heart the priority above the heart of any potential partner and never compromise your best self.

You are my most precious gift.

Keep your heart open, your wits about you, and learn when to be your own Bae.

With all the love in my Being.

Mom