Judge and Journey

"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another." Charles Dickens

We each have our own ideas about how life ought to be lived. 

The internal compass of right vs. wrong guiding our individual choices is rooted in our upbringing and personal experiences.

However, no matter how invested we may be in our own belief systems, it is important to maintain a spirit of openness to the energy of transformation; ours and that of others.

Seasons change as do people. We must keep in mind that our way of being "right", may be "just right" for us, but a whole lot of "just wrong" for someone else.

Distracting our attention from the messiness in our lives with the business of someone else's can be tempting. To fix our gaze upon the journey of another, however, does not eliminate the need to work toward improvement in our own circumstances. 

Our primary focus must land within our own journey. As my granddaddy used to say, "if you can't help, don't hinder." 

"Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up." ~ Jesse Jackson

If you feel you must address another individual's growth challenges, do so with grace. Showing compassion, not cruelty must be the currency of our intention.
  
Don't make someone regret having shared a secret with you in confidence. Don't leave someone lamenting that they permitted themselves to be vulnerable in your presence. Be careful not to brag about overcoming in the midst of a dark valley experience someone may be immersed in. 

While helping someone to claim a victory is not the time to celebrate your own.

We must learn ways to offer support in a spirit of love and understanding that heals, transforms, and increases peace. 

Hand hold without being haughty.
Assist without shaming.
Provide guidance without aggrandizement.
Counsel without condemnation.

You cannot judge and journey well.

There is a danger in judgment. One can make a fellow traveler fearful of reaching out for help when most in need of it.  Grant the assurance of knowing you will be waiting with open arms as they come through a trial triumphantly on the other side.

All have fallen short and none of us is perfect. None of us has all the answers, but we can explore the questions along the path to the discovery of our better to best selves.

Check your intention to help or to hinder. 

Have you been a help or a hindrance to the lives of others?
What is your intention when you question the growth challenges of a fellow traveler?
What aspects of your personal journey are most in need of your undivided attention?

"Counting other people's sins does not make you a saint." ~ Unknown

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Motherhood Seasons

"Who you are is enough for me. I look at you and all I see is the champion I knew you would be." 
~ Brittney Brady

My firstborn earth light, my Daughter, graduates high school in a couple of weeks and come August, she will be off to college.

Truth be told, I had not envisioned being a mother. 

The wanderlust world of dance, novel writing, and the lure of other lands tugged at my fiery energy much more than settling down to grow a family.

Fast forward to my daughter's wide-eyed emergence; a single cough announcing her arrival. 

I should have known she would be curious, vocal, and strong-willed. 

I could not have known the overflow of love that tiny precious bundle of potential would invoke; that past the pain of labor would burst forth endless opportunity to experience ever increasing joy and wisdom of purpose. 

Nor could I have known she would become a mirror of transformation every time I looked into her eyes. That through her I would learn to give beyond conditions, confront my fears, and dream bigger as I sang possibility to her in each lullaby.

"You are the fairy tale told by your ancestors." ~Toba Beta

As I prepare her for the big day, I reflect upon my own high school graduation. 

Having been supplanted in a new town among strangers; the only constant was my family to cheer me on. 

That was several years ago. 

Most of those who nurtured my spiritual nest so profoundly have since crossed over into the ancestral plane. I take comfort in knowing they are still present, still cheering as another daughter meets her first major academic accomplishment; one few of them attained themselves. 

As her graduation day approaches, I encourage her to remember the faces of her friends first, her family foremost.

Like all mothers and daughters, she and I have had our challenges, but I hope I have tended her wings well enough to send her soaring. I pray I have given her more hope than fear, more wisdom than doubt, more encouragement than despair.

So my Dear Daughter, carry on as your brilliant, beautiful, fearless, compassionate self. It is all yours to design and you are well equipped and well able to create and live out your vision.

Don't look back, look up. 

And never be afraid to fly.

"But I am never really without you,
You're on my computer,
in my briefcase,
at my desk,
around my neck
and on my mind."

~ Pamela Hall

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Respect the Process

"All living things must grow, evolve, adapt, or die." 
~ Alvin Conway 

We are all ever evolving.

Unlike the one time transformation of the caterpillar as it molts into a shiny chrysalis casing, we are subject to varying cycles of continuous change over the course of a lifetime. 

Calls into evolvement while seeking higher levels in divine order and purpose are inevitable. 

It is important that we move through each course the journey presents in preparation for the next steps in our spiritual development. If the evolvement through each lesson is interrupted maturation is stunted.

The challenge lies in overcoming our fear of change enough to permit the process to be completed naturally and individually. 

Our ego mind introduces fear of growth and change, causing resistance to the process; our own and those closest to us. Too often, we intervene to interrupt the necessary evolvement of another in efforts to control situations and outcomes in favor of our comfort. When we do this, we delay another's expansion and refuse our own. 

Just as we endure our transformation challenges with patient endurance, we must yield to the molting process of our friends, family, and fellow travelers. Allowing the individual growth of those who move in and out of our personal experience is necessary and everyone's process should be respected.

It is not our place to make attempts at ordering another's transformation process.  Often we hinder the progress of others to impose our own agenda upon their lives. 

When those we care about find a new circle of friends, go off to school, take a new job, decide to relocate, or choose love with someone else, the temptation to engage in behaviors that interrupt their process to suit our comfort can threaten to overtake us.

"Evolution is nature's creative way of pushing living organisms to higher degrees of complexity. We adapt up, not compromise down." ~ Alvin Conway

Uncomfortable stages will be presented, however, we must learn to resist the urge to order the transformation of another. 

Breaking the shell of someone else's chrysalis has the potential to destroy valuable steps in their transformation. To crack open the chrysalis of another means we pierce that of our own.

As we grow and increase in wisdom, we will learn the danger of engaging in this practice. We must master the art of quiet, patient support as we encourage another on to the higher levels. 

My greatest challenge in this area has been in my relationship with my children, especially as I look to send my daughter off to college in the Fall. Needless to say, I am still growing.

Exchange the fear of the ego mind to rest easy in the expectation of joy-filled expansion that awaits on the other side of the chrysalis for all in your circle.

Invite your personal evolvement and allow others to complete theirs without interruption. It is not yours to order. 

All of our proactive energy should be focused upon our own evolvement.

Respect the process.

Do you resist your chrysalis of transformation experiences?
Has fear of change and need for control made you disruptive to the growth process of others?
What limits your focused attention on the completion of your own evolvement?

"We are being transformed into that same image from one degree of glory to the next degree of glory. This comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." ~ 2 Corinthians 3:18

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Getting Out of Our Own Way

"Hibernation is a covert preparation for a more overt action." ~ Ralph Ellison

In just a few short weeks, Spring will have sprung. 

Having made it through a brutal cold and flu season, people, places, and things are coming back to life all around us. 

When the sunlight meets our eyes and we take that first huge stretch, ebb is shaken from our limbs and replaced with flow. 

Those who like me tend to take hibernation seriously, emerge from our warm and cozy caves refreshed and renewed for inspired action. As we reflect upon the success and disappointment of the past season, empowering our vision for change is the next step in our co-creation. 

The frequency of possibility is calling and it is our time to answer from the space of revival and the sound belief that we can create even better from what we have been and Spring is the perfect time for changing course of direction. 

"You'll never get a new ending if you keep starting with the same tired beginning." ~ Lisa Daily

As you stroll through the garden of your mind's eye, take note of the returning blooms and the baby buds blinking slightly in the sunrise.

If change is the only constant, the only option available to us is the decision for growth or stagnation. 

Choose new life and determine to progress. Open yourself to the energetic flow of the possibilities alive within the power of co-creation.

Come out to meet the Sun again and be encouraged! 

It's a new season!

What important lessons about self have you learned during your hibernation period?
Are there important challenges in your life you are still facing?
How do you plan to take inspired action toward new goals and new ideas?

"The only real battle in life is between hanging on and letting go." ~ Shannon L. Alder

The BreakUp Call
Learn To Be Your Own Bae
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Unfolding With Joy
Recover Yourself
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The BreakUp Call

The first of three in a short read series written for young adult readers, The BreakUp Call: Learn To Be Your Own Bae seeks to encourage self-love and self-awareness in navigating the twists and turns in matters of the heart. 

Dedicated to my daughter, Katrina Alexis.

Introduction

I am a huge Nina Simone fan.

My admiration is not just about her music, but the way she stood in her power as a woman without apology. She always spoke outright in strength and truth. 

In her song, You've Got To Learn, she admonishes, "you have to know how to get up from the table when love is no longer being served." 

The Cinderella "happily ever after" mantra has been packaged and sold over the centuries by way of art, poetry, music, and film. 

Recent technological advances have furthered its reach, morphing relationships with attempts at fitting them into the modern social media phenomena, online dating, text and direct messaging, against the backdrop frenzy of television reality shows.

As a result, young women, especially, find themselves in a whirlwind of fantasy web weaving standing alone holding a box with a glass slipper inside waiting for a handsome prince to deliver its match; a perfect pair, a perfect fit, right?

Sometimes it happens. Sometimes not. And some glass slipper encounters are poor fits or cases of mistaken identity.

And that's okay.

The key to emotional stability is to develop and maintain enough self awareness to recognize the reality of the relationship type you are involved in; a for now, a forever, or a for never love experience.

The BreakUp Call  was written as an empowered self-love reminder to support you in getting there.

Love as a feeling is a many splendored thing, however, as a decision, it can be both humbling and grounding. 

Each involvement, no matter the turn it takes is a golden opportunity for learning more about yourself, the type of love you wish to welcome, and the kind of love you are willing to give. 

Every experience can serve as an exercise that teaches you to balance your vulnerability with your common sense. I have learned over time that getting to know myself helps me learn to master my emotions and make better choices.

The truth is always true and a half truth is always a whole lie; even when we resist the acceptance of it.

Relationships, though never a perfect journey, should not be stress-filled and all-consuming, but should instead breathe life and peace into your existence. The selection process is where we usually miss the mark and set ourselves on the path to breaking our own hearts.

Mom won't be able to save you from the heartache of relationship miscalculations. 

I wish I could. 

I can, however, offer gentle guidance in hopes of keeping you heart healthy in the relationship forest and encourage you to never give up on the beauty that a real love experience can add to your life. 

Make your heart the priority above the heart of any potential partner and never compromise your best self.

You are my most precious gift.

Keep your heart open, your wits about you, and learn when to be your own Bae. 

With all the love in my Being.

Mom

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The BreakUp Call
Learn To Be Your Own Bae
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Unfolding With Joy
Recover Yourself
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Getting To Know You

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Assessing Our Circle

"The tribe often thinks the visionary has turned his back on them. When, in fact, the visionary has turned his face to the future." ~ Ray A. Davis

The old adage, "birds of a feather," holds true. You will become your tribe.

I encourage my students to be aware of their closest circle of friends. As we tend to gravitate toward individuals who are most like us, walking in awareness and knowing who and what your circle is manifesting is imperative. 

We are life long learners and our greatest subject of study is ourselves. When we take a mindful look at our current circle of association, we can get a snapshot of who we are, how we are operating, and what we are creating in our daily lives.

Understand that I am not speaking of group think and all the trappings it can hold. 

There should be supportive members of your inner circle who confront and challenge you to grow into your better to best self. 

Your circle should always be forward moving in directions that are elevating and positive. They should not be fearful of confronting you when they believe you have taken a wrong turn or given energy to a purpose that is not in service to your higher being or the good of the Universe at large.

Your closest associations should be desirous of your wholeness and be willing to support you in getting there as best they are able. 

My tribe members know my energy well and I can rely upon them to pinch me into awakenings I may be avoiding or ignoring. And I do my best to offer the same love and support to them.

Be mindful of your closest associations and be honest about all you are manifesting.

What is the current status of your circle?
Is it time to rethink your associations and form new alliances?
Is your circle supporting your higher functioning and forward movement?

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The BreakUp Call

Learn To Be Your Own Bae
www.amazon.com/dp/B079RWN286

Available Now on Amazon!

Unfolding With Joy
Recover Yourself

www.amazon.com/dp/B078LZ8PC5

Coming Soon to Amazon!
Rediscover Yourself
and
Getting To Know You

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Owning Our Internal Mantras

"Whatever you're doing, do that with total awareness." 
~ Tony Samara

Our outer environment exists in direct correlation with our inner stasis.

We exist in the world, but our essence and inspiration toward creation is not of this world and we must be mindful of what we are incubating and birthing.

With all the chaos and disorder floating amongst us these days, attention on the functioning of the inner life is the most powerful tool in the mindfulness arsenal. 

No matter the work we do, our sacred calling is to heal and be healed. Each of us has the power to project positive change and healing into the environment. 

"No one guides the tone of my life, except me." ~ Shannon L. Alder

The sea of chatter within visits the shore of every experience and messages incoming require constant unpacking, organizing, and purging. The method for accomplishing this task in a consistent way determines the level of growth versus stagnation created in our world. 

No one has a perfect existence, though there is always opportunity to experience extraordinary moments of meaningful bliss worthy of repeating.

Transformation occurs from the inside out and as we allow the kundalini clean up of our inner thought life we commit to a state of upward spiral evolution. We are in constant co-creation with the Universal mind.

Our thoughts become our eventual reality.

In what ways has your inner stasis been manifesting in your outer environment?
As you focus on your internal mantras are you listening for life?
What thoughts need to be purged from your inner knowing?

"Please Universe, help me
 help myself 
and help me show others
 how to help themselves."
~ Kamand Kojouri

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Concerning Assumptions

"Just the facts, ma'am. Just the facts." ~ Joe Friday

Facts are different from assumptions. It is so easy to get caught up in what we want to believe versus what is really true. 

Facts keep us awakened to truth even when difficult to hear or to accept. 

The current trend in human interaction is a passive one. We lead busy distracted lives that keep us moving quickly past the next thing after thing, with very little attention to details that matter.

Assumptions breed misunderstandings that can spiral out of control. It can be disheartening to deal with the disappointing fall out of what we choose to believe based upon what we assume to think we hear or understand.

While assumptions have the potential to dream weave in round about ways with half facts, mindful observance and active listening keep us awakened to realities we can build our lives upon.

"Ask if you need to, but don't assume. Sometimes our bad feelings are only assumptions and speculations doing dark dances in our heads." ~ Bonnie Lyn Smith

As passive listeners, we can miss the verbal and physical communication cues adding layers to conversations that make messages crystal clear. Sometimes we want to hear yes so much so, we ignore the no hidden within. 

"You must never assume that what people say or do in a particular moment is a statement of their permanent desires." ~ Robert Greene

Assumptions cloud our responses and make us vulnerable to building houses made of cards on sandy foundations. It takes courage to listen for painful truths, but the pain of a crumbling dream house built on shaky ground is far worse.

A half truth is still a whole lie.

Learn to engage and actively listen for the facts. Seek clarity and embrace facts as a bottom line and be encouraged by the peace and freedom that truth provides. 

Assume nothing. 

Are your personal interactions driven by facts or assumptions?
How has making assumptions created challenges in your decision making?
Do you have the courage to listen for the facts?

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New Wine

"You better pay attention, build your comprehension." 
~ Godspell

Confronting difficult circumstances can find us reacting instead of responding to the 
consequences of our decision making. 

Too often we choose resistance to inner unctions and insulate ourselves from our most power-filled opportunities for transformation. Turning away from pain-filled truths keeps us trapped in the futile employment of failed tactics while expecting different results.

This is a challenging space to exist within when our choices repeatedly result in negative outcomes. 

It makes little sense to climb an apple tree seeking pears, yet this is what we are doing when we look for answers outside ourselves. 

To discover the answers that can break our cycles of self-generated insanity takes courage. We must explore what's happening on the inside.

"And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins." ~ Mark 2:22

Most of the time we prove to be our own poison, making vain attempts at pouring new wine into old skins only to invite spoil. Our temples must be cleared in preparation for new offerings, renewed thinking, and revival of purpose.

The most valuable knowledge we can attain is the wisdom of self and our inner functioning.

These are the only truths that will liberate us, making us freer and wiser in pursuit of the keys to the kingdom of an ever increasing abundance of peace and joy.

Liberate yourself from old patterns. 

Check your wine skins.

Do you have the courage to face the pain-filled truths in your old patterns?
Are you resisting the consequences of your decisions?
Have you checked the condition of your wineskins? 

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