The JoiLotus Garden: Tending the Well of Self

"I want to spend more time talking about myself, and more time listening to what other people have to say about me." ~ Jarod Kintz

Many of us exist within the idea of a warped space of the Absolute Self.

Here the ego decides the pursuits toward fulfillment of its needs only and absolutely beyond limit or mercy. This energy can prompt individuals to draw upon the wells of fellow travelers with little thought of giving anything real or substantial of themselves in return.

At the other extreme exists those who give absolutely, until the day their need for water finds their well depleted. Left with no inner resources those they've selflessly been supplying abandon the empty bucket in search of another willing supplier.

"... and she loved a boy very, very much --- even more than she loved herself." ~ Shel Silverstein, The Giving Tree

Recall the popular children's book, The Giving Tree. The lovely tree gave the little boy anything he asked of her. He returned again over many years, with empty hands requesting she sacrifice more of her being into his life. And she gave. The tree gave of herself almost into non-existence. Finally as a stump upon which to sit, she was willing yet to give to the boy, now an old man.

The author shows the boy asking and the tree giving until they are both depleted by the lack of balance in their exchanges. As the reader, in the end, I always felt worse for the tree. She gave everything and gained nothing. The imbalance in her love of giving permitted the boy to selfishly benefit from the value of her leaves, her branches, and her trunk with little more than a hollow 'thanks'.

"One hand I extend into myself, the other toward others." ~ Dejan Stojanovic

Take a close look at the condition of the well of your Absolute Self. You will find that your ego is driving increasingly in one direction over the other as a selfless giver or a selfish taker. And even if you believe yourself a giver, consider the purity of your intention. If your giving operates from a place of manipulation and control, unlike the selfless tree, you may find you are more like the boy than you might have imagined.

Absolute takers function in life much differently from absolute givers.

If we can be honest about what motivates our giving and taking, we can discover the places within we have been unwilling to see or allow ourselves to feel. As we increase in awareness, we can invite each experience as an opportunity to discover the necessity for balance between our receiving and our giving.

Seek balance and though your well may sometimes run low, it will never be empty.

Are you most often a giver or a taker?
What is the underlying intention of your giving and taking?
How can you create balance between giving and taking in your life?
What are you giving to others? What are you giving to yourself?