~ Dr. Suess
Parenting teenagers has its challenges. And raising an adolescent daughter in a lightning fast technological age is daunting indeed which makes monitoring her use of social media and its effects upon her psyche of great importance.
Leon Festinger proposed in his theory on social comparison, that as a benchmark individuals tend to choose someone they believe is better at something than they are to use as a means of improving their personal performance. Unfortunately, this tendency to self-evaluate by comparing ourselves to others, can dictate how many young women today view themselves.
This makes nurturing the health of my daughter's self concept imperative and causes me to reflect upon who I perceived myself to be at her age and the many lessons learned.
"The race is long and in the end it is only with yourself." ~ Baz Lurmann
The lesson was brought home when I found myself on the receiving end of her fiery correction. I can still see the whistle postured at the side of her mouth, stop watch in hand. "What was that? You were not even close to your best time and you slowed down just before the finish line. You ran slower because you were beating her. What did she have to do with your race?"
Mrs. Brown required peak performance from her runners with each race. No matter who you ran behind, beside, against or ahead of your focus was to stay on proper form and increased speed. She wanted you to win, of course, but the victory had to be a personal one; a win from the inside and your rewards would show up in the perfect time.
"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be." ~ Mary Sarton
My goal is for my daughter to win as who she was created; to seek God and define herself through Him. We can be at our best when we trust Him and are self-determining. I encourage her to remain stable in this knowing whether drawing criticism or praise; to stay focused and forward thinking in the relay of life.
Our purpose is to find strength to be our unique selves in Him. When running your race, there is no need to look right, left, or behind to check your progress against a fellow traveler. In seeking God we find our truest self and we have already earned the gold medal moment.
Do you fear not being accepted by others as you are?
Are the social comparisons you are making realistic ones?
What parts of your truest self are you sacrificing to be accepted by others?
"Your truest spiritual path will lead you to yourself for it is devoted to becoming." ~ Mollie Marti
