Your World is Not Flat

"We all have an edge. We all are floating our psyche on top with a great ocean underneath." 
~ Brad Dourif

Being broken open by life though never pleasant is necessary for our growth. Staring at the shard pieces of our dreams and expectations is at once frightening, humbling, and all consuming.

I was swept up in the 80's television series, Beauty and the Beast, a fantastical modern retelling of the compassionate bond of friendship between Vincent and Catherine. Reflecting upon the show's theme, I find it was less about romantic love and more about how jewels of transformation wearing tragedy's disguise are hidden within our adversity to be mined to the surface.

Sadly, of course, like any epic romance, their affair met a Shakespearean end. As Vincent lamented being parted from his love, his father advised he allow the full magnitude of his grief to "crush him" promising there would be light on the other side. Since the only way out is through, it took some time, but Vincent's willingness to walk through the devastation of acceptance made it possible for him to trust in the new life that awaited on the other side of his pain.

"Sometimes it takes falling apart to see exactly how or what loosened the mortar. Sometimes we find we are responsible for the how and the what. As unpleasant as it is when it happens, one cannot help but appreciate these times, for what you learn serves as a beacon." 
~ Colleen Truscott Fry

A friend recently divorced after several years of marriage, disclosed how bitter she was at having to raise her children as a single parent. This was not her vision for her family and she quaked at the thought of redefining her expectations. "I adored my husband and I loved being his wife and I worked hard to keep our family together. I could not see past the painful ending of our union. Clinging to my disappointment had become a life line I depended upon for my survival and I spiraled down into disease and dysfunction. Instead of welcoming change and commencing into new life, I feared the unknown horizon and I questioned God's plan and His timing. My world was flat." 

We are not destined to become prisoners of our blighted hopes. Romans 8:28 reminds us that when we love God all things work together for our good according to His plan. We can trust Him with our scattered thoughts and shattered hearts. When we submit in faith to the full experience born of our losses we can be transformed mind and spirit to see our potential gain. 

As you approach the horizon, fear not to step over the edge into new promise. Your world is not flat and the unknown is not unknown to the One who loves you most and best.

What prevents your belief that new life awaits beyond your pain?
Are there potential losses you are currently facing that you are unable to see past?
What is the pay off for remaining in your self imposed prison of pain and prolonged misery?

"When you come to the edge of all the light you have known and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown; faith is knowing one of two things will happen. You'll have something solid to stand on, or you'll be taught how to fly." ~ Patrick Overton

For the Love of Black Sons

"I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me. When they approach me they see only my surroundings, themselves or figments of their imagination, indeed, everything, except me." 
~ Ralph Ellison

It is with a heavy heart I put words to paper this week and though it is not my desire to make a political statement, I feel compelled to express concern for the potential of my son. Not just his potential to grow up and become an asset to American society and the global community at large, but also the potential for him to become a casualty of apparent abhorrence.

The past few weeks, I have held my breath in angst imagining the dread of black mothers in South Africa and the segregated South under the Apartheid and Jim Crow eras respectively. They knew each time the sons of their wombs left the safety of home and hearth that at any flip of folly present in the youthful decision making of boyhood, their sons could be struck down and forgotten before their bodies met the ground. An after thought dressed in the sun kissed skin once a reflection of royalty, now an ill-fitted cloak sullied and scourged left to die alone with none to cradle their heads as they breathe their last.

Yes, it is true our community has issues with violence turned upon itself, though however relevant, to make this comparison in light of what has occurred before the eyes of the world is a false equivalent. These internal challenges should not permit open season upon the black sons of this country. The unique historical burden of our experience is one with which no other sons of America must contend and will require many years to unravel. This millstone of contempt weighs heavily upon the backs of black men no matter their station including the black man currently at the seat of power in the Oval Office of these United States. 

Breath in night-blessed skin
Glory born yet feared, war torn
They hate me Iya  
~JoiLotus

Why is my son expected to walk a tight rope of perfection not required of other American sons?

Though still of elementary school age, I lament the day his fever breaks and he wakes to discover a country that devalues him yet celebrates his best friend. I deplore the lessons his father and uncles will sooner rather than later have to pass along to him to preserve his life when he is inevitably pulled over or detained for that which would be routine for his American peers.

African-American sons also are American sons of conceivable greatness.

It is time my son be extended the benefit of the familiar adage, "boys will be boys" when he stumbles or loses his way as developing boys often do. He should be viewed as an individual beyond judgement and bias. My son should be accepted as a young man of potential to do good, not be considered an arm of a criminal collective on sight just by virtue of his heritage. 

I am not asking anyone to love him as I do or to miss him as I would. My son is real and he carries the reality of my fears with him each time he leaves the safety of my arms. My hope is that when he enters a room, moves through a crowd, hails a cab, and steps onto an elevator he is "seen" as an individual with a beating heart, a mind filled with dreams, and a soul worth saving.

To truly live as one nation under God, America should remember Romans 2:11 says, "God is no respecter of persons" and it is my prayer that when America looks upon her black sons she can begin to "see" them through the lens of His love.

"See" my son. He is not invisible in the eyes of the God in whom America purports to trust.

"See" my son.

"Our too-young-and-too-new America lusty because it is lonely, aggressive because it is afraid, insists upon seeing the world in terms of good and bad, the holy and the evil, the high and the low, the white and the black; our America is frightened of fact, of history, of processes, of necessity. It hugs the easy way of damning those of whom it cannot understand, of excluding those who look different, and it salves its conscience with a self-draped cloak of righteousness." ~ Richard Wright

Be Your Own Calvary

"It's not that some people have willpower and some don't ... it's that some people are ready to change and others are not." ~ James Gordon 

Well known motivational speaker, Les Brown often relates the following anecdote during his talks:

I was walking down the street and happened upon a man sitting on his porch. His dog was lying at his feet whimpering. "What's wrong with your dog?" I asked.  
"He's lying on a nail." 
"Lying on a nail," I said, "well, why doesn't he get up?" 
"It's not hurting bad enough," the man replied.

"In life pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." 
~ Haruki Murakami

There will be many episodes in life when our whimpers go unanswered and the Calvary never comes. Logic dictates that since his owner had done nothing to relieve the puppy's discomfort, he would move to another spot on the porch to avoid the nail. Clearly, a need was met by his decision to remain in pain.

Our goals are attached to every behavioral choice and internal needs drive us toward them. Goals are something one attempts to do or achieve while needs are a condition requiring supply or relief; a must have in order to live, succeed, or be happy. 

An internal need drives the dog to endure the discomfort of lying on the nail. Perhaps a desire to feel safe or by chance it's his favorite spot and his goal may be the sheer enjoyment of being near his owner. 

Who knows? 

But there he lies, atop that nail whimpering in pain.

"You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there." ~ Edwin Louis Cole

Practical critical thinking, safety, and survival skills are invaluable. In my Girl Scout days, my favorite lessons were the ones that taught self sufficiency. Possessing these tools is empowering though said knowledge and abilities are of little benefit if not employed when called upon to "save one's own soul".

No one can free us from a job we hate, bad influences, financial setbacks, or relationships gone wrong; only our choices can do that. When in pain, sitting in an unlocked cell resigned to misery with the keys in hand is self defeating. Life is too short to keep waiting for the Calvary. We have to be our own hero or heroine.

Determine the nails you are lying upon and uncover the unmet internal needs causing you to endure those dull aches. Once those needs are satisfied in more positive fashion, you can pursue your external goals with renewed strength and increased insight. 

Can you identify the unmet internal needs driving your goals?
Are you willing to lift yourself off the nails causing the discomfort in your life? 
What prevents you from being your own Calvary?

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." ~ Viktor E. Frankl

Make Each Task a Meditation

"A good traveler is one who knows how to travel with the mind." ~ Michael Bassey Johnson

I take little delight in grocery shopping. For me, it's like being on a treadmill or stationary bike. The monotony of the supermarket venture is deafening. Making miles, yet never arriving. Fruits and veggies, milk and eggs, bread and cheese, cereals and teas. Same aisles, same Muzak, same routine.  

In his book, The Miracle of Mindfulness, Thich Nhat Hanh addresses this dilemma. He advises individuals to breathe deeply and "resolve to accomplish each task in a relaxed way with all your attention." This approach breaks up any leaning toward viewing our duties as nuisance ordeals. My decision to hate these jaunts had increased my suffering and while in the store I had been holding my breath the entire time. I must return to my breath and decide to be present for my appointment with the weekly shopping.  

"Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

When present in each inhale, I am open to discover the many wonders along each aisle. The energy of Mother Earth dwells inside the store and she provides the goods that stock the shelves which affords a means for me to sustain nourishment for my family. Within each exhale I become more aware of these truths and gratitude instead of ire begins to color my understanding. Life exists in the stacks of product surrounding me and it is to be honored and celebrated.   

Along the D.I.V.A path, I am learning how to enjoy every aspect of my life from the non-temporal to the mundane. Approaching my market stopovers as walking meditations eliminates the escalation of dread I experience circling the lot for a park near the cart returns. 

The evolved Zen Masters perform their daily tasks in a slow, deliberate manner, minus resistance. Each morning that I am granted another 24 hours of earth light is a most precious gift. My power of choice determines my willingness to sacrifice an hour of content to fuel my distaste for being in a grocery store. Applying this philosophy to any task broadens our awareness and we train ourselves to be mindful as a daily practice. 

It is possible to take peace in every step. 

Decide.

What duties do you find least enjoyable?
Are there things, tasks, or people in your life drawing you away from your peace?
How can you find peace in each step throughout your day?

"The mind can go in a thousand directions, but on this beautiful path, I walk in peace. With each step, the wind blows. With each step, a flower blooms." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

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Be Mindful of Your Love Witness

"A fine glass vase goes from treasure to trash, the moment it is broken. Fortunately something else happens to you and me. Pick up your pieces. Then, help me gather mine." ~ Vera Nazarian

The Earth is the transformative classroom into which we are born to become the spiritual image of the Creator made manifest. To accomplish this, as it is written in I John 4, "Let us love one another for love comes from God," we must learn to love as He loves.

And what is God's definition of love? 

"Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 
~ I Corinthians 13: 4-7

Learning to walk in profound love without conditions is our purpose and also our greatest challenge. It requires we work toward higher levels of maturity and acceptance. In order to do this, we must overcome those broken pieces of self that provide cracks for the Light to enter us. As we work through our trials stamina increases and makes growth in love possible.

We are commissioned to support one another and in the earth plane, our hands become the Creator's Hands. It is through us, in love that He ministers and as a result, we are all edified inter-dependently. 

To love as God loves, we must release judgement and the burden of attempting to orchestrate the lives of others to suit our individual standards or comfort. Loving in this way does not promise things will always be to our liking, but it permits the peace Yeshua promised before His Ascension to flow fully into all our lives. 

"Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant with the weak and wrong. Sometime in your life, you will have been all of these."
~ Gautama Buddha

Because we are here to stand in the gap for fellow travelers in need, it is by far the truest human demonstration of love to take the sojourn into self. An honest and fearless expedition; an excavation of our deficits so as to avoid the projection or transference of our desires onto another. 

Resting in the bosom of the Creator's abundant love, enables us to release our personal anger, envy, and selfishness and in doing so, we liberate fellow travelers to do likewise. All we need do is be willing to submit to the Creator and live as He asks. 

All we have to do is "be" love.

What is your definition of love?
What conditions have you placed on the love you extend to others?
What prohibits you from loving as God does?

"Love the one who is love, the one who gives us the power, the one who made everything. There will be peace for those who love God a lot." ~ Prince