I spent time last week with a close friend and as she related recent conversations with her mother concerning her kids she became agitated. When I took her hand and asked why she was so angry with her mom the flood gates opened. "Now," I told her, "the healing can begin." Anger is a thief and has been robbing my friend of the beauty to be had in her relationship with her mother.
Anger as a normal part of our human experience plays out in unexpected ways. Its roots lie in the buried feelings we hesitate to explore or accept. When we hand out a good old fashioned dose of "act right" via one person show of ire in action, we believe we have shown strength. In actuality we have revealed our desperate attempt to contain the powder keg of pain just below our emotional surface.
"It is wise to direct your anger towards problems, not people; to focus your energies on answers, not excuses." ~ William Arthur Ward
I find it disturbing to hear someone lay claim to having "anger issues". This declaration provides a crutch which stunts the evolvement of the higher self. Anger is a not so clever disguise used to mask real feelings and motivations. Hidden around dusty corners in our temple are unexplored questions and veiled resentments preventing authentic revelations that have the power to liberate us.
Coddling and not challenging what lies beneath our irritations creates a facsimile of martyrdom. Using our peeves as shields against peeling back the layers of who we are to ourselves and others stagnates energy flow and distorts our experiences. Left unchecked, the thievery of animosity picks our temples clean of its treasures and rots the beauty waiting to be born in and of our being.
So return to your breath when your anger is triggered. Take courage to observe and name the form it has taken be it disappointment, sadness, jealousy, frustration, embarrassment, or lack of forgiveness. Examine it to determine if you have been using rage as a weapon of control or manipulation. Holding others hostage for fear of your wrath creates discomfort in your relationships making communication with you from a place of honesty difficult.
Nothing good can come of suppressed anger inside us unresolved. Instead we must seek the causes and eliminate any unmet needs that exist there. Clinging to anger and bitterness carries no reward. In the long run, we find that by doing so, we become thief and pillager of our own temple treasure and as such we remain under the stronghold of vexation and the illusion of the healing that could set us free.
Are you harboring unresolved anger?
Have you used anger as protection from painful experiences?
How have you allowed anger to behave as a thief in your temple?
